By Conor Glennon ‘20

One of the greatest foods in the world; the burrito.

The burrito is the perfect way to consume a variety of tasty things simultaneously.

It is so complex, yet so simple. The burrito is a friend before it’s a food.

The burrito is so versatile.

To me, the perfect burrito is packed to the max with steak. Nothing else matters. As long as it is about to burst, then it is good. I’m talking so big that your family suggests you cut it in half first so it’s easier to eat. You should have to develop a strategy for how to efficiently devour the darn thing. That is a perfect burrito.

From here, there is only one proper way to eat a burrito. I simply will not stand for any other way.

You pick it up, and you eat the entire thing. It is against the laws of burrito eating to put that thing down. You can not even take your eyes off of it. Once you pick it up, it’s go time. You better be ready because it is going to be a fight. There’s no going back. Then when it is gone, you may enjoy some chips and guac or whatever side you prefer.

People complain about a messy burrito, but they are the reason it is messy in the first place. Think about it. When you got your burrito it was smooth and clean. Not a mess in sight, but the second you set that thing down, it starts to break. You go to pick it up and all the meat pours out. If you just followed burrito eating 101, there would be no mess.

Casa San Juan had a great burrito.

The poor thing did not stand a chance.